RELAPSE PREVENTION
It is not possible to stress enough that relapse for the gambler is a life and death question. Any relapse is a gamble with death. People who relapse can often return automatically and not gradually to the level of damage it was at when you were gambling and been clean for some time.
Some people are lucky to halt the relapse quickly but a relapse is a mortal danger, which at the very least causes psychological pain and at worst lead to a path of no return. Having said that, we have to face the reality that relapse is an ever-present threat and part of general recovery process for most of us. Many gamblers or addicts experience one or more relapses before reaching a lasting sobriety. A minority will manage to not relapse at all. The best policy is to learn from those who have never relapsed AS WELL AS FROM THOSE who have relapsed, about how to guard against and avoid a relapse.
The first relapse or the next relapse may be your last
Once we have detoxed our bodies and become gamble free, the key issue in our minds is to stay gamble free. But in order to do this we need to understand and accept that we are gamblers and addicts and can never gamble again.
Many people who relapse say that when they took their first gamble it seemed as though they were on << automatic pilot>>, as though they were in a film and could even see them themselves disinterestedly from outside as they walked in the casino and started gambling.
When we relapse we are rerunning the gambling film, playing out our addict part and then, only once the act is done, reality turns with a hard thud in terms of the painful consequences of intoxification and withdrawal.
In order to stay gamble free we have to untrain ourselves, deprogram ourselves, so that resistance from temptation and that not gambling becomes an automatic response to the threatening consequences which gambling means. We have to first pinpoint the dangerous triggers and stimulants, which can provoke the temptation to gamble and to avoid them at any cost. Then gradually we have to learn new coping strategies and methods to deal with everyday life on a gamble free basis.
One might classify 3 main avenues down which the road to relapse arrive. These are:
1) Internal feelings and emotions which overwhelm us 2) External situations, places and people which can trigger us 3) Unhealthy patterns of behaviour and habits
There are no hard divisions between the three and, in practice all three of these tend to overlap, but the direction you come from may tend to lie in one or more of these areas or another.
1) External Situations, Places, and People
We all found our own particular situations, places and social relationships in which we habitually gambled. It can be the company of certain people, buddies, colleagues or even being lonely on a stool watching television at home. Certain music even smells and foods can be associated with gambling. These situations are associated with strong negative and
Positive feelings of pleasure and relief.
Physical memory circuits light up automatically when you find yourself in such circumstances and trigger the behavioural response circuits or work deep down in the subconscious or unconscious and creep up on you unexpectedly often when it is to late.
2) Internal feelings and emotions
These can be bad emotions or feelings of anger; sadness, grief, jealousy, hates, loneliness, boredom, and depression from which we search for relief through gambling or they can be surprisingly good feelings like jubilation, euphoria, happiness, exaggerated self confidence, etc. which are linked to celebration which could easily cause us to gamble without thinking.
3) Unhealthy Patterns of behaviour and Habits
When we first stop gambling we feel like a fish out of water. We don’t know what to do with a time or ourselves. If we don’t begin to plan and structure a new way of life we are at risk of falling back into old patterns and routines.
You may not realise yourself but by being in situations near casinos or gambling institutions, you are fermenting habitual modes of thought, feelings and emotions, which you had when you were gambling. Human beings are creatures of habit who tend to fall back on routines and habits especially in times of difficulty or stress.
Acting in behaviours previously associated with gambling draws us more and more closely to the <magnetic field> of addiction. If one keeps moving in these circles of addictive behaviours, it is only a matter of time before one connects and gets stuck again.
It is essential to break away from old habits and behaviours as much as possible, Firstly, spend as many of your evenings as possible in recovery meetings.
Make a list of people, places and situations to avoid and prepare excuses not to go. Do not give into pressure from other people to go to places you shouldn’t.
If you cannot say the truth say you are ill. Indeed remember you are ill. You are recovering from a life threatening illness!!! Your life comes first. Your priority is sobriety
Think of new and safe places and people. Go swimming, cinema, get videos go to the library, start a hobby, do the things you like. Reward yourself with fun for having saved your own life and having a second chance. Build a new life